What a Beano

Bash Street – the newest in Dundee
Celebrated the 60th anniversary
Of Bash Street Kids – Class 2B
They were a’ there – jumpin’ up ’n’ doon wi’ glee
The kids wir chuffed
Dennis The Menace – wiz affay huffed!

The Headmaster (in robe and mortar board)
Taen it a’abroad
Ordering biscuits and tea
The janitor there tae see
Crumbs were swept (but beein’ lazy)
He broucht the cat tae make it easy

Olive - the cook wanted tae bake a  cake
(That wid hae been a big mistake)
Fatty wiz there – he’d pit on weight
Danny (the boss) telt him straight
Erbert couldnae focus ata’
He’d let his glesses fa’ awa’

Smiffy – addressed the Teacher as ‘Miss’
A frequent mistake o’ his
The black spots coverin’ Spotty’s face
Remained firmly in their place
Sydney twin sister Tool tried tae settle doon
The spikes o’ hair that grew oot his croon

Wilfred, turtle look-alike – left tae tak’ care o’his pets
That’s jist as good as it gets
Cuthbert – teacher’s pet – the rotter – did braw
Devising plans keeping rival gangs awa’
Plug was there wi’ twin sisters – Plugena and Plugella
I doubt they’ll ever get a fella

They have his big teeth and extra-wide nose
But it’s been said ‘there’s somebody for abody’, I suppose
The Teacher – ever the Headmaster’s toady
Was as proud as onybody
For aince he had his say
Efter sending his wife hame that day!